For the Baby
by AThousandLifetimes
Summary: Post Mockinjay Katniss was eventually able to carry a child. But we don't know what she and Peeta had to go through before their first child's birth. OS - Katniss' first pregnancy


**Just a little OS I imagined the other night, even though I'm not good at writing Everllark stuff ;)**

**Hope you'll like it!**

**One-Shot  
**

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She passed the door hesitantly. Inside was Peeta, her Peeta, baking cheese buns to celebrate his wife's return, happily kneading the bread dough on their kitchen table. She stood there for a few seconds, remembering the circumstances that had drawn them together, ages ago. The Hunger Games were far away from them now, even though she still had to chase them every night from her nightmares. But he was there, there to help her get them away.

His face enlightened when he saw her standing in front of him. She drew a pale smile when he wiped his hands to grab her by the waist. She groaned when she felt his palms on her hips.

"Ho, sorry!" He said "Baby doesn't like it, does he?"

Peeta never used this kind of silly nicknames with her. He could only been talking about the little being she was carrying.

Her jaw tightened. He tried to kiss her but she pulled away. He frowned, suddenly realizing something was wrong. She hadn't act like that since their Games, when she wasn't comfortable with him. But now they were married, had a baby on the way. What could possibly bother her in that way?

"Katniss?"

She knew she had to tell him. She wouldn't be able to hold it much longer anyway. But she was afraid of seeing the spark in his eyes die, the smile on his face fade away and more than everything, she was afraid of seeing him go.

"Katniss, what's going on with you?" He asks softly. Peeta was not one of the guys she could see in the rest of the district, getting mad at their wives when they didn't want to tell something. No, Peeta was worried, and that was even worse. She sat on the couch, her hands shaking as she gripped the fabric like it was the last thing to hold on to.

"Katniss" he said one more time. He knelt on the floor in front of her, gently stroking her hands until she let go of the sofa. Then, he enfolds her trembling hands in his strong palms, as a reminder he was there.

Eventually, she opened her mouth several times before managing to let the words out.

"It's not me Peeta… It...It's the baby"

Emotions mixed on his face. Relief that his wife was not hurt but also concern about his child. His frowned in worry, not quite sure of what she was about to tell.

"What's the trouble with him?" he whispered

"I…" The words couldn't get pass her mouth. It was like she was retaining them, so scared of forming them she was paralyzed. Why was it happening to her? Hadn't she been through enough things to be spared from suffering again?

"I lost him"

Peeta's mouth opened a little and as he looked up to her, she could see what she was dreading. He was disappointed. Despite of all the sacrifices she made to have that child, to carry a baby, from him, for him, she had disappointed him. One more time she didn't feel good enough for him.

"I'm sorry" she muttered, shaking her head to prevent the tears from flooding.

She knew how much it meant to him, having his own child, his own family. Since his died in District Twelve's bombing, he couldn't help but have this pained look on his face when meeting children. And there she was, telling him that it the baby he thought he'd have would never see the light.

She suddenly sobbed violently. She tried carrying that baby, she did and just like she tried to save Prim, she failed. One more time she felt vain, vain and scarred from the inside. Life had just asked too much of her, for too long.

Soon, she felt reassuring palms covering her cheeks. Peeta had let go of her hands to get even closer

"Shhh… Katniss, it's alright"

"No!" She barked "No! That's not! You wanted him! You wanted that child and I couldn't give it to you!"

"Katniss, _Katniss_!" he says more firmly "Don't you see? We have time for that. We do. I may not have him yet, but I have you. And that's enough for now"

She looked at him hesitantly. His blue eyes were staring into her grey ones with that glint of kindness in it that even the Games couldn't take away. Another sob escaped her mouth and she collapsed on his strong shoulder.

His hand started stroking her braided hair in an attempt to soothe her down. And eventually she did. Her spasms stopped, just like the flowing from her eyes.

"You should be angry" she said "It would be legit to yell at me"

"How could I?"

Despite of the world he grew up in, despite all the suffering he had to face, he had always kept this touch of sincerity to her, the one that made her feel like they were ten again; her soaked under the tree and him, stepping outside the bakery's porch.

Her eyes were shining in the candles lights as she lifted her chin to face him.

Then, she said the only words she could think of to thank him for not making the baby's loss worse to her, accepting her and taking care of her through all these years, even though she felt it could never be enough.

"I love you" she whispered.

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**Review if you liked it! :)**


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